Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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