come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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