Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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