She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize