i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
