Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
