I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
