I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
