we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
