I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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