fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
