i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
