they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
