One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
