she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
