All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
