So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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