Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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