i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
