Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
