okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
What drink are we having for lunch?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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