haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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