I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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