Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize