Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
