That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
