He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
