Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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