did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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