I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
