Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
