he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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