It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
