Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
