She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
