Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
