yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
