and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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