It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
