Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
