I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
My day in three words: secret purse cake
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
