your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You had me at "let me see your balls"
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
