R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I have post one night stand depression
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