hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
