you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
