dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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