just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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