I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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