I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
smell my finger.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
