Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
