she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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