I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
