Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
