Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
be right there i have to get my cape
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
