Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
then he tried to convert me to islam
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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