i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
the condom got lost in my hair
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
