why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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