I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
