We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize